Found Myself Staring
by xXRoMaNtIcReVeNgEXx
Summary: Death is not what I fear, it's living without you....Sounds interesting? Well, it's like that in the story, and that line is my property. Read and review, for crimson eyes


Found Myself Staring by angelic 4 evil

Intro: This is suppose to be sad. It's about suicide.

Disclaimer: She does own all of this, but Kai Hiwatari himself.

Azura Takahashi's POV

_Humiliation and heart break_

_Are the only things to regret_

_Everything I hope for gone_

_It's you I wish to forget_

_It's you I want out of my head_

_Cuz our supposed love is dead_

_I think I regret_

_Everything I feel_

_That I wish I forget_

_All my old emotions_

_But now I can't see_

_What I used to believe_

I sat at home, all alone. My thought started to wander off to him. What did I do to deserve this humilation and regret? Why was I destined for this feeling? I don't know anymore. Not how I felt, not what I felt, and not why I felt this desperate longing. I'm not sure of anything anymore, and I was the smart one. I never did really believe that when I was told anyway. I started to drift away in my mind. To the darkest part, as black as my hair and clothes. I wanted to leave this reality so badly. If I couldn't feel his heartbeat, if I couldn't look into those haunting crimson eyes, then I didn't want to bother with reality. I know I could see him in my fantasy, where I can live in my happiest dreams. Where him and myself could be together. Where I wasn't another face in the crowd. Where I was important to him.

_I find myself staring_

_At you_

_No longer bearing_

_My unknown feelings_

_What I feel is purely real_

_I no longer hear_

_That unknown song_

_I found out today where we belong_

_And where I am_

_Is nowhere near close to you_

_But for now I'll just look at you_

_Even if now I see the truth_

I grabbed the family heirloom from it's coven. It was a brilliant silver dagger, decorated in rubies and diamonds. I felt the sharp edges and point with each of my finger tips, a crimson liquid slowly draining out. I smirked thinking it could solve this problem, and end all others. I may miss out from where I left off, nothing but an eighteen year old, but this wasn't the life I wanted. My soul left, long ago, the moment he left me behind. The moment he broke my heart, and shattered it into a million shards.

_I cant help but stare at you_

_Cuz I'm searching for the truth_

_Was it love that was between us_

_Or was it just me _

_Was it reality_

_Or was it my sweet fantasy_

_Why did you hurt me_

_Why did you break my heart_

_I'm the one_

_Torn apart_

_But why do I keep_

_Falling for you_

The dagger was inviting me as I continued to examine it. Then, I stared at the picture of Kai and me, the only memory of our first and last meeting. I smiled at that sweet thought, remembering that was the only time he noticed who I was. You see, I went on this trip to Russia and met the bluenette. We were so much like each other and I thought we had a connection. Kai even said that maybe if we're lucky, we'll meet again, one day. Ever since then, he was too busy, and all I was to him, soon enough, was another face in the crowd.

_I thought you said _

_We were meant to be_

_I thought you felt that way_

_As I did for you everyday_

_But how could you_

_How could you just forget me_

_Why did you say that you loved me_

_Why did you lie to me_

_But why do I still _

_Have that feeling for you_

_Why do I keep_

_Staring at you_

I'm going to have to wait for that promise for a lifetime. I will have to wait for one day forever. Unless..., I stared at the knife with a twisted smile. If I couldn't hold onto him in this world, I will go to my dreams, eternally. Tears silently fell from my violet eyes for I knew that I never truly had him. That what we had was nothing but a dream. My heart was urging me not to, and my conscience demanded a solution. They started to argue in my head, when I suddenly realized my heart never was a helpful part of myself. Always causing damage to my life. I couldn't bear this heartache anymore. If it couldn't be, if love wasn't meant for me, then I don't want to live with it anymore. I refuse to face it one more time.

_I find myself staring_

_At you_

_No longer bearing_

_My unknown feelings_

_What I feel is purely real_

_I no longer hear_

_That unknown song_

_I found out today where we belong_

_And where I am_

_Is nowhere near close to you_

_But for now I'll just look at you_

_Even if now I see the truth_

_So I'll live with it _

_Til the day that I die_

_Knowing us together_

_Was nothing but a lie_

I took one last look at those fond memories, and plunged the dagger into a blackened, soulless void, that used to be my heart.

Well, what do u think. Honestly, one of my favourite stories in this series.

Kai: Why did she kill herself?(He asked this innocently too. Haha, he knows what he did.)

Evil: I blame you.

Kai: What did I do?

Evil: You broke Azura's heart.

Azura: Yes you did Kai. Now tell everyone to review.

Kai: Well you heard the heart broken bitch, review or I'll send you to your funeral, like I did to Azura.

Azura: Fucking dumbass. That's a stupid threat. I killed myself, and just cuz you didn't pay attention me.

Kai: Point?

Azura: You don't fucking care about anyone anyway, and no one fucking cares about you anymore. So just shut the fuck up.

Kai: Why don't you?

Azura: Why don't you make me?

They start fighting.

Kai: Ow, no fucking weapons.

Azura: Too damn, bloody bad!

Evil: Don't mind them everyone, I kill either one in each story. Please review, cuz I'm starting to get worried. Cya, and if you wanna see either of them alive, I suggest you pray cuz they're gonna murder each other. Latz


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